Creating Oneself

the endless search for authenticity

Sep 29, 2025

note to self and whoever this may help:

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on a particular chapter of my life. A time I have written about many times. A time when I was 18-19 years old living in a new city right after graduating high school in the small town I “grew” up in.

I often credit that year as the year when I found a new identity or newly refined sense of self. I still believe that to be partly true but I think I was missing an important part of that all along. Recently, I was told that it wasn’t a time when I found myself..it was a time when I created myself. And hearing that has stuck with me ever since.

I redefined my world and upbringing to my advantage. I littered pieces of my old life behind. I lifted up the neglected, dampened corners of my life and exposed them to the sun for them to eventually turn into dust. I let go of what no longer identified nor served me as I made room for what I was truly interested in. I didn’t have anybody to fill my head other than myself..which I will add was plenty to deal with. Once I started letting go of the nonsense, I began to take agency in my own life and be conscious of that shift in perspective. Something just clicked. I knew I needed to practice solitude on a daily basis in order to grow in all corners of my life.

Looking back, I was a typical ego-filled kid who was trying to be cool or liked by others for the wrong reasons. I didn’t truly have any goals and my high school years had snowballed into a blur of nonsense. I had hardly ever been honest to myself up to that point; not until I was stripped of my comforts that consumed me in my stagnant hometown. By practicing solitude in this new chapter of my life, I was learning what it was like to be absolutely authentic to myself. I began to hone in on what made me feel happy and fulfilled. Drawing and writing–activities I enjoyed regularly as a kid–came back into my life quite naturally whereas photography, walking and forms of spirituality/reflection walked through the door of my new life that I was starting to prop open for all of the right reasons. All I needed to do was spend more time with myself to find more enjoyment and fulfillment in life.

I don’t think we all have to be stripped of our current living situations to find truth in ourselves. And I am aware of the privilege I had with being able to go live in a new city with very limited responsibilities during that time. But I do think it’s safe to say that we can all benefit greatly by spending more time with ourselves practicing solitude and authenticity. Let’s face it: we live in a world that is increasingly distracting and superficial. Even when we can’t be in introspective practice as often as we’d like, it’s still empowering to speak up for yourself and express your true self in front of people around you; whether that’s family, friends, the community that you are part of, and most importantly, you. You will find that there are plenty of moments throughout our day-to-day lives where we can practice and engage with our own selves. We just have to simply make the time.

Authenticity is hard to come by these days in a world overflowing with bullshit. “Stuff” is continually force-fed to us on these tiny screens we all carry around in our pockets. The online world is full of thoughts that we are told to think as we mindlessly ingest information that usually does not serve us in any positive way. We numb our brains and regress into immaturity without even hardly knowing it at the time. Trust me when I say I am not immune to this world that competes for our attention. I just know that I am not ever going to truly give myself the opportunities and/or time to create or recreate myself if all I do is live online and never look inside.

And yes, I know this can be an ironic topic to write about online but I do believe that we can be more mindful of what we ingest. And when we are more mindful, we learn that our own personal time is more valuable than screen time. Throughout that never-ending practice of solitude and self-awareness, we allow ourselves to slow down in this insanely fast world and create ourselves in the best ways imaginable.

The search for authenticity is an endless search. You will redefine and refine that word from time to time and the search will not always be consistent unless you are consistent. Authenticity isn’t going to just show up at your door one day. You have to be the one to implement it into your daily living. You have to start creating yourself now.

That’s what I’ve learned during this past decade or so: in a world lacking authenticity, it’s up to us as individuals to be authentic to our own selves. Nobody else is going to be authentic for you. Be true to yourself and understand that you can and will change as the days pass. It’s a lifelong process but man, it is so worth it.

Strive for authenticity and your life will surely become saturated with what fulfills you.

Strive for authenticity and you will create the best version of yourself.

And just maybe..the people around you will take note and start their own search if they haven’t already..